The worst conflicts at work often stem from emotions that have been swept under the rug. Improving the workplace atmosphere starts with recognizing and accepting emotions. But that’s not the same as tolerating bad behavior.
Think about a top athlete for a moment. They must be ready to endure pain, discomfort, and failure to reach their goals. The same applies to top professionals in any field – success doesn’t come without effort and setbacks.
Negative emotions like frustration, disappointment, anxiety, and inadequacy are an inevitable part of working life too.
How these emotions are handled – or not handled – has a huge impact on the overall atmosphere of the workplace.
The balance between positive and negative emotions
All emotions serve a purpose. Often, positive emotions emerge through processing negative ones. That’s why it’s important not to suppress or ignore them.
Instead, learning to recognize your emotions and developing your emotional skills is key.
For both the workplace atmosphere and individual well-being, what matters most is the ratio of positive to negative emotions – how often we feel positive emotions compared to negative ones.
Here’s what research tells us:
- 2:1 – On average, people experience twice as many positive emotions as negative ones.
- 1:1 – At this ratio, an individual or workplace is no longer thriving.
- 3:1 – This is the “flourishing” threshold, where people’s true potential begins to unlock.
- 6:1 – High-performing teams have been shown to maintain this ratio of positive to negative comments.
When the positivity ratio rises above 3:1, we hit a kind of tipping point where positive emotions start to make a real difference.
Our emotional life is directly reflected in our performance!
Negative emotions don’t justify bad behavior
Every emotion carries an important message – emotions give us essential information and energy. The real question is how we respond to these emotions and how skilled we are at working with them.
For example, frustration arises when something we want is blocked. The first step in handling frustration is recognizing what you want and focusing on how you’d like things to be.
It’s important to distinguish between emotion and behavior. All emotions are valid, but poor behavior doesn’t need to be tolerated.
If you have a snappy colleague, remember – there’s nothing wrong with their feelings, but that doesn’t make bad behavior acceptable. We can accept the emotion, but not the behavior.
5 steps to work through a negative emotion
- Breathe and calm down.
An emotion as a physical reaction lasts only about 90 seconds. If you take slow breaths during this time, the strongest intensity of the emotion will naturally subside. - Recognize and name your emotion.
Give the emotion your kind attention. When you accept your feelings, positive emotions start to strengthen, and negative ones begin to ease. - Identify and name your need.
What do you need in this moment? This question points you toward a solution and shifts your focus to the future. - Separate the external and internal world.
Try to distinguish what’s really happening from what your mind might be distorting. - Take a step back and view the situation from a distance.
Is this really the worst thing that’s ever happened to you?
Think about how you’ll feel about this situation in ten days, ten weeks, or ten years – will it even matter?
And if the emotion still feels overwhelming after that, just focus on enduring it one breath at a time.
Is improving your workplace atmosphere on the agenda?
Is there friction between people in your workplace?
In the Emergy® TEAM training, teams learn to face challenging situations constructively and develop healthier group dynamics.
In the Emergy® KEY leadership training, managers learn how to improve communication, give feedback, and create a positive workplace atmosphere that strengthens psychological safety.
